Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Convincing the Spouse

Sometimes the hardest part of a project is convincing my husband John that my fabulous idea really will turn out amazingly beautiful.  It's not that he doesn't trust my abilities to do something amazingly beautiful - he is the most supportive husband I could have ever asked for. No, I think it's more of a, "but we've owned this table/chair/dresser/desk for five years and it does it's job and it is just fine as it is."  While John may be thinking that the end table/bookshelf/lamp has been loved and appreciated for five years, I'm thinking that I did not like the paint color/lamp shade/knobs before we even brought it home. 

With such differing goals for our furniture and other home goods, you can see where I have a need to paint and sew and rearrange while John tends to just live with things.  This is the reason why I must put so much time, effort, and energy into convincing him that our side tables must be painted or that our gallery wall is just too small-scale.  I'm curious if anyone else has a spouse that likes to live with things as they are while you have a desire to make that tv console perfect.

I've learned that John needs lots of visual aids while I plead my case.  Remember those horrible end tables in our living room? He was adamantly against the idea of painting them and couldn't understand why I hated the tables so much.  I tried reasoning, begging, and bribing...and once I broke him down and we had painted them, he was in love with them.  He even went so far as to say, "Next time I need to just go with whatever you want to do - you know best." Does he remember saying that? No. I really should carry around a tape recorder.

One of our dressers

I've been talking about my desire to paint our television console for a few months and he's been ignoring me.  I've also shared with him many times about my desire to paint our bedroom furniture to help make our mix matched dressers and bedside tables fit together better. He's also poo pooed that idea. I know that I could probably beg until he consents - like I did with the living room tables - or do the project and ask for forgiveness once he sees me already painting, but I'd much rather have him excited about the project and believe that what we're doing will make our home 100 times more beautiful and comfortable.

Enter pictures. I've been collecting photos for the past month of inspiration colors and furniture that I plan on laying out nicely in front of John.  My plan is to help him visualize how a simple paint job could turn our bedroom from shouting hand me downs and thrift store to grown up and soothing cocoon.  I don't want to overwhelm John with too many options or pictures so I need your help. I'm trying to decide between painting our furniture white or gray.  The vision I have for our master bedroom is grays with pops of white and green.  We're renting right now and have white walls, but when we buy a house in the next year or two I want to paint the walls a pale gray...hence the indecision.  What do YOU think?

I'm loving this moody dark color for our bedroom furniture. I worry, though, if it would be too much with two bedside tables and two tall dressers...what do you think?

Here is a picture of white against pale gray...I love it and I know it will help John visualize the potential of our bedroom.

A softer, lighter gray bedside table. I think it may blend into our future light gray walls, though...I can picture all of our furniture painted this color, though.

I love this color with the pop of white in the knobs.

So, please vote for the color you think we should paint our furniture - white, dark gray, or light gray.


Gen said...

LOL I have the same issue with my fiance he could really care less what i do decorating wise but if I mention painting etc he's like I think it looks nice as it is LOL Love your inspiration photos

Screaming Meme said...

You are so right...My hubby finally gave that up the day he walked into the first home I designed for a client (without his old college never put his thoughts in again...They learn to believe in you...slowly...but they

Unknown said...

I have the same issue with my partner. I bought an ugly thrift store tall laundry basket (ugly multi-brown colors) that I wanted to spray paint white and line with fabric.. he was so against the idea because he thought it would never work and it was fine the way it was. He couldnt visualize the potential. He thought I'd went out and bought a "new basket" when he saw it "fixed up." It must be one of those differences between male/female brains. :)

ps. Love how that coffee table turned out! I love that dark grey. Also the lighter one. I'm bias, I really love just about any shade of grey right now. (it goes with everything!). You should also check out french silver. It's like a pale grey/pale blue. Also goes beautifully with black & greys. :) Goodluck!!

Erin said...

Oh, Kristen - thank you for sharing and letting me know that I'm not the only one with a Mister that rolls his eyes when i want to paint/change something. I finally resorted to doing it when he wasn't around and couldn't stop me. I figured once it was done, he would love it. And I was right! I painted the living room - did he notice? no. But when I pointed it out he liked it. I changed the drapes - did he notice? No But when I pointed it out he liked them. Same with building a new headboard. He thought I was crazy and shouldn't use power tools. Now we have a headboard, a cube shelf, a craft table, floating shelves, a closet organizer and a chaise lounge. Because I built them. I also picked up some old furniture at goodwill to paint - only because we didn't have any of our own. But I think he's finally seeing the "light."

Best of luck with your Mister - and I ADORE the gray side tables. and if you stay with lighter colors in the room I think you'll be fine - it won't feel too dark!

ginalovesdave said...

My husband is TOTALLY "it's just fine the way it is..there is nothing wrong with it"! I think unless you have a lot of natural light the dark gray might be too much. I vote for white or light gray!

Katy said...

My husband usually let me go for it even if he's not sure about it. He really doesn't care, as long as I'm happy with it ;)

I like the dark gray.

PicturePerfectPixies said...

You girls crack me up! Honestly, I don't ask...I just see if he notices. Bwahhaahaa

Apparently my hubby is like Katy's...He doesn't really care. As long as I am happy;)

Unknown said...

The amount of times that I pick a colour and my husband rolls his eyes until he sees everything put together :)

I would go with side tables in the dark grey and then pick a tone two shade lighter for the bigger pieces.

Great modd board pieces.

Debbie said...

I think they just have trouble envisioning the end results, unlike us.
Last time we tried to paint the walls in the bedrooms, my husband and I got into a little argument because he wanted the walls this BRIGHT red (Sherwin Williams' Firework. Lovely color, just not for an entire room.) and I wanted a nice relaxing blue.

I ended up compromising with letting him paint one wall in the guest bedroom his choice of red just to let him see how bright it really was. He thanked me for it later.

(BTW, I found your blog recently and I love it!)

S said...

Oh, girl, I hear you loud & clear about man's tendency to live with things as they are. I've been living with my hubby for 9 years, and he still resists change. (I approached him with grand plans to paint an old dresser of his white, and he bluntly told me, "Don't you touch it.") That said, I have to be very clever in how I approach any big change around here. As for your visions, I'm really liking the white furniture. I'm not a fan of dark pieces because they suck up so much light. (We have a bookshelf in our office/classroom that is begging for a coat of light paint.) Happy planning!

Mindy said...

Our bedroom furniture is all dark wood, so that's what I lean toward. Although, if I'm painting something, I generally go white. Not cocaine white, but more of an antique white. That being said, I am SO IN LOVE with that last dresser picture! The grey is so pretty with the white knobs! So, clearly I'm no help at all! ha ha

Thumper said...

I solved this issue with my first husband. I gathered the items for the project way before I did the project and when he went out of town or to work, etc. I completed the project! It was done by the time he got home! Including, believe it or not, an entire picket fence in the front yard of which he drove right past the house at first. Priceless!

Anonymous said...

I always say go with your gut! Good luck!

nicolette {momnivores dilemma} said...

Dark Gray!

Thanks for sharing at Creative Juice. Hope to see you back again this evening!


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